When I am in my home office, I look out over the beautiful Castaic valley. There are lovely hills, and trees, and homes all over. In the far distance is the Pitchess Detention Center.

Are the prisoners looking back? What does the valley look like from their perspective?

I don't think it would be good to be in prison. Please note, I have titled this list "ten reasons..." not "top ten reasons..." because I don't understand the prison experience well enough to know the true misery of being there. Here are just some observations from outside the Big House. From a person who has never visited The Pokey. My sympathies, and no disrespect intended, to those who have been in The Slammer.

Ten Reasons It Would be Bad to be in Prison
  1. You have to eat bruised fruit.
  2. Same clothes, every day.
  3. Jailhouse orange is not very flattering.
  4. People aren't nice.
  5. Not much privacy.
  6. Guards are in charge of your schedule. I like to be in charge of my own schedule.
  7. They make you exercise an hour a day.
  8. You can't use sharp objects. That would really make scrapbooking tough.
  9. I don't smoke, so I wouldn't have any prison currency.
  10. You might have to work in the prison laundry and do laundry for everyone. That would not be prison, it would be hell.